rigid

speaking in tongues, a happy, smiling jesus fish tastes Darwin's taboo.

dreaded phone meeting, ear caught in vice-grip, throbbing, voices like death rays... waning attention, mechanized drones buzz, voicing useless opinions... loquacious wind bag hurling thoughts willy-nilly misplaces paradigm floor is still open, dead horse bleeding and broken, do not heed death rays...

Once upon a time, there lived a saucy little piggy whose motto in life read, "Go big or go home!"  "How wonderfully American," you might be thinking dear reader.  "He sounds like a real go-getter."  Unfortunately, however, due to a specific string of events that I will not go into further here, he had also developed, at a rather young age, a bizarre proclivity for shouting out nonsensical questions about gun shows and foot races.  This had the regrettable effect of frightening and confusing people.  At a minimum, it put most normal people on edge, causing them to chuckle in nervous apprehension whenever he entered a room.  Despite these obvio